more strangeness

Romeo and Juliet, White Trash Style

Tim and I were neighbors and we lived in a low income neighborhood. Okay, it was basically two run down houses next to each other and he had a shack in his backyard. Apparently when we were little, my dad shot him and he was locked away in the shack because his parents thought he was deformed from being shot. His family hated me and he and I fell in love. I would visit him in his shack and we would cuddle. One day, his parents caught me and started a war. He and I ran away because our parents were retarded.

The Talking Corgi and the Dark Iron Dwarves

I was going camping with someone's family in their cabin in the woods. I wanted to buy a fish and an aquarium for my desk at work before we left, so I went to the pet store. I bought a fish and when i was checking out, this adorable beagle puppy was giving me a sad face, so i bought him too. He was adorable, but I really wanted a Corgi instead of a Beagle. I went to the puppy store to try to find a Corgi and the only one that had was a 2 year old named Melissa that had hair and a headband and could talk. She was cute, but not what I was looking for, but since she could talk, I felt bad and adopted her anyway. I took her on the camping trip with a family that had Matt's mom and brother and some of my WoW guildies. I learned that we were actually going on a covert mission to infiltrate the Dark Iron Dwarves' secret hideout and to steal back their treasure. Melissa kept following me and ruining my mind controlling attempts on the dwarves and almost got me caught. Matt's brother had no idea what was going on, but told me he found some dwarf coins. He gave them to me and I instantly knew how to break in and steal more coins. Somewhere in here, there was also a bathroom with toilets and showers without stalls and it was really creepy and I showered in my bathing suit.

The Perfect Cosplay

It was Halloween and I wanted to be Yoshi, but all of my friends (Matt, Sascha and some guy I didn't recognize) were being anime characters. They told me I had to join them in their group. I decided to be some character that was "The Bad Witch of the North" in some anime that was like Rayearth. I think I made it up. In our search for the perfect costume, we went to a porn store first and looked at slutty costumes, then we went to the mall. This was the yuppiest mall ever made. I found several dresses that looked like what I was looking for, but nothing was perfect. I finally found an exact match at Hot Topic, but it was the most upscale Hot Topic ever. The dress was $279 and I realized I didn't have my debit card on me, so I made Matt pay for it since he was the one making me dress like this character. After he bought it, he wandered off with his boyfriend/friend/whatever and I found a cheaper dress. I wanted to return the expensive one, but since he bought it, I couldn't return it without him. He wouldn't answer his phone and we found him after the mall was closed. My costume was perfect and awesome.


  • Current Mood
    amused amused

hahaha

Damn You, Alec Baldwin!

I was working at Sam Goody like I did in high school, only this store was comprised of shelves of DVDs and CDs on a long flight of stairs. Some lady wanted a copy of a movie with Ryan Reynolds and we didn't have it in stock. I went to check at Suncoast (which looked exactly like a normal mall store) and suddenly morphed into my WoW priest. One of my really old WoW friends (whose name escapes me atm) was working there and he was from New Zealand. He was actually Chase from House. I told him I loved him, but his accent was totally fake and he turned into a dragon that I had to fight using my pennance spell before I could get a copy of the movie for that lady. The employees told me that their manager would me pissed. His name was Matt Ericson (who, to my knowledge, I don't actually know) and he was dating some girl from my high school whose name I can't remember. So, I went to the school to try to find her to tell her I was sorry for killing a dragon in the store. On my way there, I was approached by Dennis from 30 Rock and he told me I had the priest skills that an elite WoW guild was looking for. He told me I would be tested throughout the day. I went inside the school (which was my middle school) and joined the group. I kept up on healing everyone, but had 50% overheal (which really isn't the end of the world). I was told to be outside at 3pm sharp because the leader wanted a word with me. I was outside at 3 and got in the car with someone I couldn't identify, but knew they were a good friend. Then, I suddenly remembered driving down the highway that I was supposed to wait for their leader. I remembered that Dennis had told me the leader was Alec Baldwin and gave me his phone number. I also remembered that this girl Casey that I went to high school with (and haven't really talked to aside from Facebook occasionally since then) was picking me up as well. My friend that was driving took me to a random office buiilding so i could run inside and call (because cell phones don't work outside?). I left Casey like 3 messages telling her I didn't need a ride. Then, I saw a paper sword taped to a window on a door that said, "DEATH TO JENY TOMORROW - CASEY". Apparently she was pissed that she had shown up and I hadn't been there. I went back outside and she was sitting in the back of my friend's car. I explained that I was sorry and had tried to call. Then, I went back inside (this time they were following me) and tried calling Alec. He wouldn't answer his phone and I shook my fist and yelled, "Damn you, Alec Baldwin!". I made my friend take me back to the school and he was there, leaning against his limo. He made me come with him and Tina Fey in the car so we could talk about my performance. They said I had potential, but I wasn't living up to it. I needed more epic gear in order to be a better priest. It turns out that Tina Fey was the best WoW player in the world and I needed to learn from her.

  • Current Mood
    amused amused

more dreams

Dimitri Matrin is My Boyfriend

I totally made out with him. But then, my grandma told me he was my cousin and suddenly it wasn't so cool anymore.

Matt is a Jerk and Made Me Miss My Flight

I got in a huge fight with Matt because he left the door open and it rained inside. He didn't understand why I was mad, so I told him to move out. He said he would after he drove me to the airport because I was flying to Dallas to visit Tim. So he drove me, but we kept getting boxed in in the parking lot. Then Emily was magically in the car and couldn't find the airport. I missed my flight and the next one wasn't until 5am, so I had to wait. I also had to fly Continental instead of United and pay an extra $400. I wasted my time at this delicious bakery in the airport that made me a frosting taco. It was amazing. Then, apparently Continental seats their passengers by assigning them seats in a giant auditorium and making them go on Space Mountain until their plane is ready to board. O.o When I got to Dallas, Tim, Justin (his roommate), Mike (how he got to Dallas, I don't know) and Jeff Pittner came into the airport (which had the same bakery as the one in Chicago) and stood behind the counter of the bakery dressed like the Blues Brothers. I have no idea...but then I woke up.

(no subject)

For the first time in my life, I woke myself up screaming last night.

The Nightman Cometh

I was hanging out with my high school friend, Dominique. She had a big house in the middle of the woods and an RV. We were planning a trip somewhere and her mom and sister decided to leave us home alone. We heard a car pull up in the driveway and one of the asshole Dr.s I had seen got out and started heading towards the door. Dominique told me to hide and she did the same, but he saw me through the window. He then walked around the house saying, "Jeny, I see you. You can't hide from me. Let me in or I will let myself in." I was terrified, so I played dead under the basement stairs. He broke into the house and walked by me several times before spotting me. He came over and started examining me, making sure I was alive. When I refused to move or talk, he got out a needle and started moving it towards my eye. That's when I woke up screaming. :(

  • Current Mood
    scared scared

Bits and Pieces of My Subconscious

I only remember parts of my dreams the last few days....
  • Walking around the crowded mall picking up change people were dropping
  • My brother hanging out with stoners in the food court (which is entirely logical)
  • Buying ice cream at Dairy Queen and feeding it to rats in the street
Last night, however I remember clearly.

Hunting is Scary

I was a young boy (laugh it up) and my dad and some other guys were taking me and my friends hunting. This consisted of setting up food in a wooded area and sitting across the dirt road in a fenced in area with a rifle. However, the animals were on to us and learned how to climb fences. They chased us into a log cabin and started mauling my friends and the adults. One kid got his face ripped off by a moose. The animals spared my life because I didn't really want to go hunting, I wanted to go to the arcade. They told me to never come back again.
  • Current Mood
    exhausted exhausted

More dreams

Emily and Geoff Are Total Cockblockers and Edward Cullen is My Boyfriend

So I was Bella from Twilight, except I wasn't whiny or stupid and Edward was my boyfriend, except he was externally Robert Pattenson and internally Tim. I was doing investigative research at an astronomy museum trying to find him, because he ran away from me. I met up with Emily and Geoff there and they wanted to go to Six Flags, so I agreed. We went on the Giant Drop and then Edward reappeared because he didn't want to miss the fun. As we got on the ride and it started moving up, I realized my seatbelt was broken. I started screaming for them to stop the ride, but they couldn't hear me. Geoff told me to just hold on tight (thanks, asshole). I held on tight to Edward and he barely saved me. Then, he and I decided to go to a hotel to get laid, but Emily and Geoff told us we should stay at their places. We tried to explain we didn't want to, but then Emily said she had a room for us. The room happened to be in my parent's house, but Geoff lived there. His room was my brother's room and our room was my parent's room. We kept trying to do it, but Geoff would start snoring really loud and we eventually gave up. Then, Emily's parents took us to IHOP and I got an omlette. The end.



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